Generation X Caregivers - Giving More than We Got

It isn’t fair if you think about it. We were the latchkey kids, the ones who took care of ourselves and drank from the rain gutters and chewed on the lead paint while our parents weren’t home. We let ourselves in and out of the house, made ourselves meals, and learned to cope with bullies and puberty and sex on our own.

Alone in the house, we tested out the liquor cabinet and found dad’s stash of betamax pr0n. We found the loaded gun in the nightstand and most of us lived to tell the tale. While mom was off actualizing and dad was off doing the “Don Draper from Madmen” routine, we dealt with depression and loneliness, raised by MTV and Hungry Man dinners.

And we somehow, incredibly, developed a deep well of responsibility and compassion. Somehow we took all of that and, as a generation, went so far the other direction that many of us are known as “helicopter parents.” We took all of that angsty hair metal and grunge rock and decided that we actually care about our families and friends. We did one of the most difficult things in the world: we didn’t repeat the same mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong: Generation X is far from perfect! However, we generally take caring for others more seriously than the Boomers. (You disagree? OK, Boomer!) That’s why we’re also often a part of the Sandwich Generation: the generation of people who care for both children and parents at home.

As children live at home longer and parents need more care for longer, Generation X gives up more and more of the best years of their lives to caring for others. Maybe our kids will help us some day, but there is often understandable resentment about caring for parents who we may feel did not care for us “latchkeys.”

But we do it. We do it because it wasn’t done for us, and we know how badly that feels.

I want you to take a moment to acknowledge how awesome you are as a caregiver, giving to a parent what a parent should give to a child (and may not have). It may not be helpful to feel resentful, but I get it. It’s ok to admit it, too. In fact, when you don’t admit it, that just makes it stick even more in your heart.

If you want some self-care tips, head over to the members area. It’s free to join, and there are no charges for training material (or for anything else on this site).

Generation X is amazing, and we see that in how giving we are to those who came before us, and those who will be the next generation. Take a minute to acknowledge that and give yourself a hug. (We’re used to that, since we didn’t get those from other people growing up, right?) Then crank the Nirvana, roll your sleeves up, and get back to it!