What Learning Greek Taught Me About My Mom’s Unmet Dementia Needs

My partner and I are planning a trip to Greece later this year. It’s going to be my first trip to Europe, and I’ve been insufferably excited. I even decided to learn a little Greek on Duolingo.

I learned a lot of words over the 100+ days I studied…and none of them was “bathroom”! I’m imagining myself walking through the cradle of western civilization or standing in the middle of the Parthenon, unable to enjoy the experience because I have no way to find the bathroom and I’ve really, REALLY got to go!

Bathroom sign in Greek

Imagining myself in that situation gives me some insight into how vulnerable I would feel if I couldn’t communicate: suddenly my mom’s agitation makes a lot more sense. If I couldn’t communicate my most basic needs, I would be agitated too.

If you notice your loved one growing agitated, starting to wander, or becoming aggressive, they may have unmet needs that they can’t communicate. Here are my top five: address these first to see if you can satisfy a need that they have but can’t speak.

  • Take them to the restroom.
  • Assess the environment. Are they too cold or hot? Is it too noisy? Are there too many things going on at once?
  • Are they hungry or thirsty?
  • Are they bored? Would an activity help to channel their energy productively?
  • Are they tired? If they need rest, can you create a quiet, comfortable space for that?

These are the five most common “culprits” that people with dementia might not be able to express. If you’d like a free, printable guide on this subject, including extra details, click here to download 5 Strategies for Unmet Needs. 

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